I will soon be 1(!) and plans are now in full swing for a blowout bash to celebrate my birthday. I was kind of excited at first because at least two of my doggie friends will be there, including one of my BFFs, CoCoa. However, as with most things Momma, the party is spiraling out of control. I don’t think it’s so much that Momma wants to celebrate my birthday as it is that she views the party as a chance to promote my Blog. In fact, I’m pretty sure she is trying to find a way to make me pay for my keep.
Let me explain. Momma has been reading up on blogging and has learned that as a general rule companies will not advertise on a site unless it has about 10,000 visits per month (and that leaves us about 9,999 short). Undaunted, Momma has begun a new campaign to increase my readership – beginning with the party.
Thus, the first step Momma took to prepare was to order business cards for me (she even popped for expedited delivery so we’d get them in time). These she plans to shamelessly pass out at the party and “hound” people to spread the word!
Momma has been gearing up in other ways, too. First she went to a party store to find hats for the dog attendees. Luckily there were none there or at any other store she visited. She did, however manage to “dig” up some doggie scarfs that my friends would be required to wear.
Next Momma got the idea – to showcase me even more – that I should wear a little crown or tiara for the party. That also didn’t go well. She did find some mini-tiaras attached to little combs at her favorite discount store but, thank God, could not make them stay in my hair … er, fur. Unfortunately though she did find a frilly little pink dress for me sporting the lame message, “It’s My Barkday!”
I’m actually thinking about becoming a boy (I mostly identify as one anyway) so I won’t have to wear it.
Despite her springing for this party, Momma hasn’t forgotten how to cut corners for my care. The other day she announced that because there’s nothing in the budget for spiffing me up at a salon, she will groom me herself – this means running a brush through my fur – for the big day. In fact, the last time I was at a groomer, it was to have my nails cut. They hadn’t been done in like forever and Momma suddenly remembered she wasn’t the only one who needed nail care. In a panic she whipped me over to the neighborhood groomer – scared to death that they would turn her into PETA or the ASPCA.
Of course Momma’s party plans did not include any kind of food preparation (that would cut into her own professional grooming time). Luckily Nanny Becky realized this omission and asked if she could provide the doggie treats and cupcakes for the humans. When it finally it hit Momma that this would not be enough food – unless the humans could be convinced to eat dog food – she called her caterer friend, Gloria, who agreed (on about a moment’s notice) to help us out. Gloria even came up with a theme – Mexican Fiesta! This made Momma happy because then she could claim she contributed to the meal – even she knows how to make margaritas!
Stay tuned ~
Lina, Business Woman and Party Girl (Boy?)