The other day Momma went to a golf outing called “The Elephant Open.” I’m sure you can guess what type of humans were there. Anyway, Momma loves this day. Golf + Republicans is heaven to her.
She was a little less excited though when she met State Representative, Peggy Bennett, who had a huge Shiloh Shepherd. When Momma heard the dog, Hawkin, was a Shepherd, she almost flew to her golf cart to retrieve one of my business cards. Momma told Peggy I was also a Shepherd, a Toy Aussie, and launched into a spiel about my blog and my books, etc. She was pretty sure Peggy couldn’t top that.
But it turns out she could. Peggy told Momma that she and one of her dogs, Colter, had actually appeared on Fox and Friends a few years ago. Momma was incredulous (and a little skeptical truth be told), but, alas, it was true. Peggy had taught Colter to obey flash cards that spelled out words like SIT, PAW, and DOWN. Peggy, a school teacher, had used that demonstration to show her first graders how they could learn to read with practice! Peggy later sent Momma a link so she could see Colter with Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmead. You can watch it here: https://video.foxnews.com/v/3619007450001#sp=show-clips.
Momma was pawsitively green with envy. But at least Peggy’s dogs hadn’t written books, she reasoned. She was beginning to come to terms with Colter’s talent and fame, when Peggy continued that she had also written and recorded several books for her students starring her dogs and cats. And put them on YouTube.
This was almost too much for Momma to handle. I can woof you one thing, though — she is in the other room right now making flashcards.
Although Momma was still a bit disconcerted at the awards dinner that evening, she did feel better when she won a box full of doggie goodies that — wait for it — Peggy(!) had donated. Momma was sitting at her table with the rest of her foursome (photo right), including my pro bone attorney, Uncle Chuck, who had allegedly won second place in the tournament, when her name got drawn by Minnesota House Leader, Kurt Daudt. Momma was over-the-moon until Leader Daudt, himself a dog lover, handed her the microphone and said, “tell us about your dog, Robin.”
Momma was all deer in the headlights, but knew this was her chance for us to get some free publicity and maybe even get on Fox and Friends! She therefore snatched the microphone from Leader Daudt, and began her pitch: “Well, Lina is a whole lot smarter than her master.” (Always start with a joke she’d heard.) Pretty good laughter. “She even has a blog — Lina’s Dog Blog, and has written two books, Lina Unleashed and Sit Stay Pray. And both books have won national awards!” Audience attention beginning to wane. Also, a few nervous glances around the room, attendees wondering if Momma had all her marbles. Then, with a big finish, she declared, “and I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but Lina is a Democrat!” Polite laughter and applause. And mercifully Leader Daudt snatched the microphone back, thus ending Momma’s fifteen seconds of fame.
And here I am with the winnings. (Thank you, Peggy!) You will see, however, that it takes more than Rs bearing gifts for me to abandon my pawrty! You go, Joe!
Lina, Still true blue