Hi, my name is Lina, pronounced with a long i. I am named after my grandmother once removed (from human to animal). I am a Toy Australian Shepherd. Momma wanted a “toy” dog because she thought it would be cool to carry one in her purse à la Paris Hilton, but her plans are being foiled – I am growing like a weed.
I am from Florida – the Sunshine State. For some odd reason, Momma decided there were no acceptable dogs in Minnesota (or any states in between) so she flew to Florida to kidnap, er … adopt, me and now here I am – in the land of 10,000 lakes and -20 degree temps. She tried to sell me on the 10,000 lakes thing and all the fun we would have in the water, but I wasn’t fooled. I know that for 10 months of the year, those lakes are frozen over and I’m not much for ice fishing. Actually I’m not much for the water at all but that’s another story.
Speaking of my momma, she’s difficult. Actually disturbed might be a better description, but she is an attorney and I have to be careful what I say around her. To be honest though (and that’s an absolute defense to defamation I’m told), Momma is a bit ditzy, totally lacking in common sense, socially awkward and embarrasses herself on a regular basis. In fact, I think the term “faux paw” was coined with her in mind.
Momma is also befuddled by modern technology, is a hopeless shopaholic (although she has deluded herself into thinking she’s on a budget) and to top it all off, is an insufferable Republican. As you can imagine, life with her is challenging to say the least. It seems we are always just one step away from catastrophe.
Anyway Momma picked me up on November 7 and we flew home the next day to Minni (as they like to call it here as if it were some kind of Disneyland) just in time for winter – great plan. Here I am wondering what has happened to me.
I have now been in “Minni” for about two months living by a perpetually frozen lake. It wouldn’t be so bad but Momma makes me go outside to go potty about every 20 minutes in deep snow drifts that leave me no clearance.
What follows is my story. Please stay tuned for periodic posts. And you might want to keep your eye on Amazon and TV listings – I’m angling for my own book and reality show. It will be called Online with Lina.
WOOFDA (I’m learning to speak Minnesotan)!