Dear Readers,

Momma has decided that we are publishing a book, entitle Lina Unleashed about our life together. Should be a real thriller (not kidding). We have now submitted the manuscript and have moved onto the design phase. Apparently a big part of book design is creating an attention-grabbing cover.  To that end, Momma took me on a photo shoot in Naples last Monday to capture that perfect cover photo. I resisted, dreading the thought of posing for a million pictures and all of the accompanying rigamarole. However, Momma insisted, pawntificating that “the photo on the cover is the key to selling books, Lina.”

Momma was very excited about the shoot, “picturing” us running through tall grass and wildflowers with the wind blowing through our hair/fur and sunlight in our faces, looking at each other lovingly.  I know what you’re thinking, and yes, Momma had decided she would be part of the shoot.  In fact, most of the morning that day was taken up with her selecting just the right outfit.

It turns out that I was right to be dubious about the shoot, by the way.  Rather that taking us to that grassy meadow, the photographer had us meet her at a vacant lot in a rather rundown (who knew?) part of Naples.  Upon our arrival, the first thing I noticed was all of the broken glass and trash, including a discarded tennis shoe, scattered on the lot.  The next thing I noticed was a big red and white “No Trespassing” sign – standing there as plain as day and impossible to miss.

I was apparently the only one who saw it, however, because the photographer and Momma plowed right ahead as if we owned the place.  At this point, I was sensing that this was not going to go well as you can tell by the look on my face. 

What is that old saying – a picture is worth a thousand woofs?  Anyway, after a few preliminary shots of Momma and me, the photographer led us even deeper into the lot, looking for the perfect background. Momma had taken me off leash in anticipation of just the right impromptu photo.  Having no choice, I followed along.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a man marching toward us. He was carrying a clip board and wearing a shirt with the words “Animal Control Services” emblazoned on his back.

The animal control officer was quite angry.  He fairly shouted at the photographer and Momma that we were on private property and trespassing and asked, didn’t we see the sign?!  (Uh, yes.)  He further informed them that the dog (me!) was also trespassing and was not on a leash and therefore in violation of the law.  (I was the innocent party here – the victim – and now it appeared that I was the one in the most trouble.)  Would I be paw-cuffed?  Hauled away in a paddy wagon?  Could I get off with probation?  Where was Uncle Chuck, Esquire, when I needed him?

Finally, after apologies and explanations (huh?),  the officer ordered us off the property:  “Just leave right now and no charges will be filed.”  Do you see now why I didn’t want to do the photo shoot?

As we left the scene of the crime, Momma tried to make light of being busted:  “Well, Lina, that was your first brush with the law!” as though it was just a fun rite of passage that every dog should get to experience – and that there would be many more to follow. Momma was a little nervous herself, though and hastily loaded me into the car.

After brushing the burrs out of my fur, we motored on to a park to finish the shoot.  Which kind of “begs” the question, doesn’t it – why didn’t we go here in the first place?? In the end, we did get some great photos and Momma, the marketing expert, insisted that I include one here (“It’s called a tease, Lina.”)

What can be next – Lina Unleashed, the movie?  God help me.

Lina, Indie Writer and Perp

WOOFDA!