Last Saturday did not go well. First I threw up in bed. Momma, who wanted to avoid washing the bed clothes, quickly cupped her hands under my mouth to catch the vomit. Naturally it didn’t work and the vomit ended up on the bed and the carpet when it dripped through her fingers on the way to the bathroom. (Nanny Becky suggested that maybe in the future Momma should keep a towel on the bed – just a thought, she said.)
An hour later I threw up again. Momma still didn’t think too much about it, assuming that I had eaten something that didn’t agree with me the day before. Therefore she went ahead and fed me, but I promptly threw up again – this time in my little doggie bed (which she also had to wash). When Momma saw the mess, it finally sank in that I might actually be sick. Her next thought was – oh God, it’s Saturday and that meant if she were to bring me to the emergency hospital it would cost a fortune!
She was not about to make that trip if she didn’t have to and decided to wait and see what happened. What happened wasn’t good – I puked all over her imported area rug in the living room. When Momma found me there surrounded by little puddles of green and brown slime, she shrieked, “Lina, no!!” She was so upset that her precious rug (I wonder how it fit into her budget) might be ruined that she totally forgot I was sick or frankly that she even had a dog.
Realizing that things were – once again – exceeding her ability to cope, she called Becky who as usual dropped everything and came over. After comforting me, cleaning up the mess and locating a nearby animal hospital, Becky loaded me in the car and off we went. On the way over Momma threatened to sell me for about the 100th time. Becky, having heard it all before, told me not to worry and gave me a big hug.
Another one of Momma’s friends, Cheryl (Annie’s momma), who had told us about the hospital, was waiting there to see how things were going and had been inside to ask if we were there yet. Seriously, I wonder what the staff must think. How helpless must a person be to have someone waiting for them at the hospital and a nanny along to help care for a dog with an upset stomach?
Nevertheless, things turned out okay and $217.00 later I was on the road to recovery. Don’t be surprised though if you see me on eBay.
The Pet Cam
The other day Momma had the bright idea to put a camera in our house so she could observe my activities while she was away. She did a little quick research, ordered the camera and downloaded the accompanying app for her phone. This made her feel good by the way – very tech savvy – almost like she could be a member of Geek Squad.
When the camera arrived and Momma finally figured out how to use it, it dawned on her that she could not only keep an eye on me – but on the house as well! Thus, she had cheaply – and accidentally – installed a surveillance system and could now see if an intruder had broken in (in case the intruder happened to be glued to the spot in the corner by my bed).
Momma was especially excited that the little camera included a speaker and laser light. The laser was supposed to be a little “toy” that would enable owners to play with their pets remotely. And with the speaker she could talk to me while she was away (although I don’t know how I was supposed to hear her over the Rush Limbaugh program which was always blaring in my ears).
Momma was really “digging” her new gadget at this point and tested out it out by repeatedly yelling “Lina” into her phone. After a little delay, the speaker also yelled out “Lina.” This confused me to say the least because now her voice was coming at me from all directions and I didn’t know where to look or what she wanted.
Momma was pleased with the device though and thought that just maybe – in a pinch – it could take the place of expensive doggie day care! She could have me chase the little red dot around the room for exercise (never mind that I’m not a cat), and could talk to me as though she was still at home (“Take a nap, Lina” and “Don’t go potty in the house, Lina”).
Momma couldn’t wait to try out her new built-in dog sitter/surveillance system when she arrived at the golf course the next day. At least every other hole, she would activate the camera app and insist that her friends look at me. I was just a little dot on the screen by the way – Momma didn’t have an extension cord that would allow her to move the camera closer to my bed – where I constantly slept while she was gone. At least I used to constantly sleep. Now I am awakened every 15 minutes when Momma’s disembodied voice screeches, “Hi Lina” causing me to whip my head around and look for her. Is it any wonder that I get an upset stomach?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that nothing much goes on during her frequent absences and gets tired of the gadget. I also wonder how long it will be before no one will play golf with her anymore. I’m just woofing.
Lina, Longing for Peace and Quiet – and Wishing You a Happy 4th of July!