We are now back in Florida and settled in for the winter. We are enjoying the warmth and sunshine, and were especially happy to escape the inhumane temperatures of Minnesota. (Momma: “So much for that global warming idiocy, Lina.”) (Me: “It’s called climate change, Momma.”)
Nothing much has changed here and we have renewed old acquaintances — including with my best furry friend, Gracie! We do have a bit of news, however. Momma has somehow wrangled a position on the Rules Committee at her condominium building. Predictably, she thinks it carries a lot more authority and clout than it does. In fact, she is so impressed with her new status that you’d think she had been elected president of the United States. Now that I think about it, how much worse could it be? Just woofin’.
Momma takes her job very seriously, and because of her newfound “power,” she readily dispenses information and advice that is way beyond the purview of the Rules Committee. For example, when Gracie’s mom noted that her fireplace pilot light was off, Momma, with all the expertise of an HVAC technician — or maybe a meteorologist, informed her that was because the gas had to be turned off before the hurricane (a tidbit she picked up at the Rules Committee meeting). And when Momma took a fall in the condo garage due to a wet floor, she promptly tracked down the head of building maintenance so he could do something about it before anyone else fell. She had a heightened responsibility now as a member of the Committee, did she not?
As with all elected officials (well, most anyway), she feels the stress of the burden of the office, too. For example, when she goes to the workout room, she is careful to use sanitizing wipes to clean the machines and mats when finished — just in case the building cameras are “trained” on her. (She was the one, after all, at a Committee meeting who suggested that this rule be added and wouldn’t it just be the “bite” if she was caught failing to do so herself!)
She has also stopped her practice of driving against the directional arrows in the garage, no matter how much time it saves. She no longer brings her wine to the pool in a glass container (the rule, it turns out, was already on the books – who knew!). She is even thinking about abiding by the rule that prohibits saving pool lounge chairs by throwing towels over them for use hours later.
She also tries to remember to only take her trash down in the service elevator. This is not a rule yet, but it’s been proposed and what kind of a rule maker would she be if she didn’t set a good example?
There is one proposed rule, however, that Momma refuses to follow. That one, of course, involves me. It seems that some of the residents are of the opinion that dogs belong on the service elevators, not the passenger ones up front. Momma is vehemently opposed and has no plans to comply. First, she does not believe that we belong on the elevator with the trash, and second, she likes to use me as a promotional tool for my blog and Lina Unleashed, to try make a buck. In fact, she actually had the audacity to argue in a meeting that people want me on the passenger elevator.
Anyway, there can be no good outcome if this rule is passed. I am already bracing myself for another visit from Animal Control.
Lina, Chief of Staff and Stowaway on the Front Elevator