So the other day Momma decided that she was finally going to get my DNA tested. She had wanted to do this ever since some folks questioned whether I was a full blooded Australian Shepherd. In fact, one friend had suggested that – because of my huge ears – maybe I was part Pomeranian or Papillon. Momma rejected the notion that she had paid a king’s ransom for a dog that wasn’t a purebred, and she hoped to prove them wrong.
After some in-depth research (translation: she ran across an article in People magazine), Momma decided on a testing kit made by Embark. It seemed legit and the website stated that the product would provide insight on breed, health, ancestry and more – with a simple cheek swab (a bit of exaggeration if I do woof so myself). Anyway, that was all Momma needed to know and promptly placed her order.
The very next day we received our little testing kit in the mail! Momma was excited and read the instructions over and over again. She also watched a couple of online tutorials. She really wanted to get this right.
I, on the other paw, was skeptical and dreading what was to come. In fact, it would not be an overstatement to say that I was terrified. I tend to know how these things go down for me when Momma gets some new gadget or product. Remember the dog tweeting device, for example?
Thankfully, Momma didn’t perform the test right on the spot because she was busy packing for a weekend getaway with the girls. She didn’t want to rush into things and make mistakes. She also knew she might need some help. There is a God.
Luckily, Momma’s good friend, Lori, came over and stayed with me while Momma was away. By the way, Lori and I had our own girlfriends’ weekend. We kicked back, played fetch, took fun walks and had plenty of treats. Lori even came up with a great new nickname for me: Lina Bean!
When Momma got home from her shopping and wining and dining extravaganza, she asked Lori if she would stick around for my DNA test, in case she needed some help. Lori graciously agreed and took some pictures while Momma gave it a go. Knowing that I wouldn’t put up with too much poking and prodding, Momma quickly and clumsily plunged right in.
As you can see, it didn’t take long for me to panic (especially knowing that these Republicans aren’t opposed to a little torture) and make a run for it.
After Lori had calmed me down and provided some distraction, Momma was able to get an adequate sample. She hopes. Desperately. After all, the test set her back almost $200.00. Here I am clinging to Lori after the ordeal.
The next day Momma took my kit to the local post office for mailing. There she might not have been exactly truthful when asked if there was any liquid or anything potentially hazardous in the package. After all, she really didn’t know if that mysterious blue fluid in the test tube was technically a liquid – or if it might be hazardous – did she?? So, suffice it to woof, the package is now somewhere in the U.S. postal system.
Meanwhile, we are anxiously awaiting our results. Stay tuned – you’ll be among the first to know!
Lina, Hopefully Still An Australian Shepherd