Dear Readers,

This week Momma’s favorite newspaper, the Star Tribune, printed a fun article entitled “Make it a Placation for Your Pet” with helpful tips about what do to with us while sheltering-in-place (“For heaven’s sake, Lina, can’t they just call it staying home?”).

What a great article.  The author begins by noting that training classes, agility trials and dog and cat shows are cancelled and we pets might be a little blue and needing activity.  So insightful.  The author goes on to say that pets may be weirded out by having their humans home all the time and might need help staying sane.  You think?  It’s as if the article was written with me in mind.  Look at me — I’m a basket case!

Despite the help offered by the paper (and despite the fun factor for me), Momma scoffed at most of the ideas.  They included:  teach your dog some tricks (“So yesterday, Lina”) and blow bubbles in the living room (“And who’s going to clean up that mess, Lina?”).  There was one that caught her attention, though:  train your dog to use the treadmill.  I know she wouldn’t want me woofing about this (it’s coming from the Strib and all), but she has considered it and even set me on the belt for awhile yesterday.  Here I am sizing up the idea.

The article also had helpful placation suggestions for humans. These were all dismissed out of paw, too.  Momma has absolutely no intention of watching free educational videos on pet body language, behavior, training and care at the FearFreeHappyHomes website (“What about a FearFreeHappyHour video instead, Lina?”) or discovering a new fantasy book series with great animal characters or characters who commune with animals (“We already have books about characters who commune with animals, Lina — they’re called Lina Unleashed and Sit Stay Pray“).  Okay, I officially give up.

In the meantime, I continue to make the best of my #safeathome “placation” with Momma.  We go for short walks, do a little agility training (“Better tell the Strib that our classes aren’t cancelled, Lina”), and the other day she even threw me a bone.

And luckily for me, we had company the other day!  My hysterically fun step sisters once removed, Tammy and Talla, came over for a pontoon ride.  If we get in trouble over this, please tell my hero, Governor Walz, that I had nothing to do with the social distancing.

Lina, Playing it by Ear

WOOFDA!

Dear Readers,

I hope you and your friends and family are staying safe and sound during this horrible pandemic.  At the moment, Momma and I are healthy and staying busy and trying to obey Governor Walz’s #StayHomeMN order.

When Momma must venture out for food, she has — at least up to now — worn her mask and gloves and stood on the big blue spots on the floor of the store to accurately distance herself from others.  She doesn’t really know why she wears the gloves, by the way, because she touches the bags and food and packaging anyway when she gets home.  Couldn’t she just wash her hands before and after she goes into the store, she wonders?  I can tell Momma is getting a little skeptical about this whole thing.  Just woofin’.

Nevertheless, she really is trying to comply with non-essential travel restrictions, and stay at home (although I don’t think her trip today to Dick’s Sporting Goods in a distant suburb to pick up a new golf push cart would pass muster).  Nor did she wear a mask to the wine store on her last trip.  I watch her pretty closely and can tell there are cracks in her resolve to be a good Minnesotan.

So far, though, we’ve managed to pretty much stay home and stay occupied.  Momma has even cleaned the counters many times (“Very important to wipe down surfaces, Lina”), but most household things just aren’t in her wheelhouse like cleaning the oven and re-attaching the chain to the flapper on the toilet.

Also, Momma quickly ruled out suggestions she found in a recent newspaper article of what to do in a quarantine such as “try to speak in pig Latin,” “talk to your plants” and “rearrange your sock drawer” — as ridiculous.  (“I suppose next they’ll suggest we take up macrame, Lina.”)  See what I mean by cracks in the armor?

On the other paw, we do go for long walks, play ball in the yard, kayak and have even built a fire!  Here we are in the backyard.  Please note that the kayak photo, was taken by Margaret, daughter of our good friend and neighbor, Dana.

One night Momma and I even had a Zoom Happy Hour with her law school study group (I know, right?).  I think it goes without woofing that Momma didn’t know how to work Zoom, but I don’t think she ever learned a new “trick” so fast in her life.  Luckily, Michaele, Barb, Kurt and Dave did not mind me joining in on the fun!

I can tell that Momma has just about had it with whole lock down thing, however, and is aching to bust loose.  Even though all the experts (I especially like the scarf-wearing Dr. Birx and the way she always says “next slide please” during her daily update) know that we still need more testing while flattening the curve, Momma — like some of her radical right-wing friends — are thinking about a rebellion.  In fact, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see her at one of the Trump-inspired “LIBERATE MINNESOTA!” protests soon.

Oh, and just one last thing — have you ever seen a more perfect card (photo by Sara of Adventure is Barking!) for the times?  How prescient was I?  You let me know if you need any and I’ll give you my special COVID-19 discount!  I think my “There’s Light at the End of the Tunnel” cards might soon be more valuable than toilet paper.  Next slide, please!

Lina, Doing My Part

WOOFDA!

Dear Readers,

Momma and I made the big journey from Florida to Minni a week ago Saturday.  Momma was a little nervous about the trip because of the COVID-19 crisis and any possible challenges that might bring.  Preparation was key, she thought, so she donned her mask and armed herself with hand sanitizer and wipes.  She knew she didn’t have to worry about me because I likely could not contract or spread the disease — especially since I would be practically self-quarantined under a seat in my little carrier.  Here I am in the car on the way to the airport giving Momma the stink-eye for my upcoming confinement.

As we got close, we made one last potty stop for me and braced ourselves for the unknown.  Things went smoothly, however, at the almost empty terminal, and we breezed through ticketing and security.  The boarding of the flight, though, was a bit of a different story.

We flew Delta, and our 737 was actually pretty full.  Luckily, Momma had gotten us a “miles” ticket in the front of the plane so we had a little more space.  Unluckily for us, the humans on the flight — because of the virus and other mysterious issues — were rather picky about who they sat next to.

When we arrived at our aisle seat in row two, we found next to us a passenger who was standing, in fact, practically glued to the window behind her and eyeing us warily.  Momma said hello, and went about her business.  First, she carefully put her (and my) tote in the overhead bin directly above us.  Then she pushed and pulled and scrunched until she got me arranged just so under the seat in front of her.  Then she began wiping down all the surfaces around us with one of her hard-to-find sanitizing wipes.  As soon as Momma was finished and sat down, the “woman in the window,” who had been watching the whole procedure, pointed to the seat in front of us and asked, “Would you mind changing seats with my husband so I can sit by him?”

Momma, incredulous that she hadn’t said something sooner, maliciously and (glad she had an excuse) gleefully replied, “Sorry, I can’t, it’s a bulkhead seat, and I need a spot to put my dog” and pointed to me.  The woman, realizing Momma had a point (and might be just a little close to the Brinkley flipping out), began looking around for someone else with whom to jockey.

When the passenger who was assigned to sit next to window woman’s husband finally showed up, she agreed to switch seats — until she learned that Momma had a dog.  That stopped our prospective new seat mate in her tracks and she promptly declared, “I don’t want to sit by a dog.”  Oh, oh, I thought from my little prison — we have a situation on our paws.

Before Momma could react (or I could break free and bite her) — the woman asked if it(!) was a big dog.  (Meanwhile about ten people were lined up behind our little road block waiting to board and be seated.)  Momma, who had finally had enough, stood up and announced to the woman — and the rest of the cabin — that “NO, THE DOG WAS SMALL AND PROBABLY THE SAFEST PASSENGER ON THE AIRPLANE!” and ushered her past us.

By now our original seat mate had forged her way against traffic to the row in front of us.  Before settling in though, she stood in the aisle (the line waiting to board probably stretched back into the terminal by now), started placing items in her newly claimed overhead bin, and somehow dropped her cell phone right on Momma’s head!  Momma, hurting and almost apoplectic at this point, nevertheless decided she must “bite” the bullet and keep quiet just to keep things moving.

From then on, the passengers were well behaved, mostly quiet and sitting and staying in place, and the flight went smoothly.  Good humans!  I slept (when Momma wasn’t waking me up to see if I was still alive) and Momma, still smarting over the doggist comment and the knock on her head, hunkered down grumpily with a minuscule bag of Cheez-Its and a movie.  I think I’m speaking for both of us when I woof that isolation at home never sounded better.

Lina, Sheltering in Place and Digging It

WOOFDA!

Dear Readers,

Okay – I’m going to be honest.  Most of you are stuck at home with nothing better to do than watch me practice my agility training, so for your viewing pleasure, I’ve attached some videos and photos of my latest romps at Ruffgers.  And really, can’t we all use a little entertainment right now?

I continue to learn and improve, and have even conquered the teeter totter and the weave poles!  My trainer, Gigi, who has two doggos of her own — Chewy and Ringo, said that I “rock.”  See — based on that alone, you should be glued to your seats with a big bowl of popcorn waiting to watch the show.  Now sit, stay and enjoy!

Let’s start out with a little trick — Momma calls this “tall,” and Gigi calls it “dance!”

And here I am running the course with Gigi:

And whipping through six weave poles (the amount used in competitions with novice dogs) with Gigi!  Note she called me a “superstar!”  Life just doesn’t get any better!

And then twelve (used with more advanced dogs)!  Okay, now I’m just showing off.

And mastering the teeter with Momma.  That’s Momma in the mask.

At the end of our session, Gigi officially pronounced me #1!

Well, that does it folks — my home movie/slide show is complete, and so is our stay in Florida.  Governor DeSantis has just issued a statewide stay-at-home order, and Momma has decided it’s time to pull up stakes and fly home to Minnesota.

Here I am after our last session saying goodbye to Gigi.

And speaking of masks, Gigi gave Momma and me each one for the trip home:  who do you think wore it better?  (And before you get upset, Momma has already given my mask to (another) elderly human.)

See, that took your mind off our troubles for awhile, did it not?  Thanks for being such good humans and watching my show.  And may you and your animal companions stay safe and well.

Lina, It’s Been a Good Run

Woofda!