Taming the Tesla, part 3

Dear Readers,

I wasn’t going to woof about it again, but I can’t help it. It just continues to dog us. Momma actually did make some progress last week on what she thinks of as outsmarting the car. She religiously watched instructional videos, and, after a bit of a meltdown, even reached a Tesla rep by phone to work out a problem. She now knows how to turn on the interior lights, switch between low and high beams, turn on the windshield washer and charge Smart Car during non-peak hours.

In fact, Momma has been pretty proud of herself. Maybe she could be a cool Tesla owner after all. Part of the Tesla family as they say. Maybe she hadn’t bitten off more than she could chew.

And when her nephew and his family came over yesterday for Christmas, she couldn’t wait to take him for a ride. She was especially excited to show him Santa Mode where the car turns into a sleigh and plays Christmas music, and to demonstrate all the horn honking sounds. As a guy, he might even enjoy Fart Mode, she reasoned.

So after a few snacks and playtime with the kids, she led Charlie out to the car. (Happily I got to stay in the house and play with Lindsay and the kids!) Momma wanted this to go just right so Charlie could have the full experience of riding in such a high tech car. First, she just drove casually around side streets showing him some features and highlighting the world class sound system with a few Johnny Mathis Christmas tunes. Then she pulled back into her cul-de-sac, so she could cue Smart Car up for some of the special effects, like playing the Santa tune on the outside speaker of the car.

Just as she had (finally) found that feature on the computer screen, she noticed a car coming down the road in their direction. Oh good, thought Momma, maybe I can hurry up and punch in “Spread the Cheer” to show off how the car plays music on the outside! Before she got to that, though, the driver pulled up along side Smart Car and informed Momma that one of her taillights was out. Momma was almost a-pup-lectic. Was this some cruel joke? Apparently not because Charlie jumped out of the car and confirmed that the light was indeed not working.

Deflated, and despite the fact that her hero, Elon Musk, had been named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, Momma was now a little disappointed in him. Was this car all it was cracked up to be? Was it just for people who really had all night and day to figure things out? And wouldn’t you think with all the electricity running through this car, an electric bulb would be the last thing to go?

Knowing she has little choice, Momma calmed down and resolved to remedy the situation. She made a service appointment (online, the only way possible). The only times they had available were after we leave for Florida. I just wonder how this is going to work out.

Meanwhile Smart Car is, once again, parked in our garage.

Lina, Trying to keep Momma grounded


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