Orchidgate, Frisbeegate and a special gift

Dear Readers,

So far 2022 has been no different than any other year with Momma — it’s one thing after another.

Orchidgate

Shortly after arriving in Florida this winter, Momma received a beautiful Christmas gift from Nanny (see photo right). It was a spectacular double-stemmed orchid from a nice shop called Marco Island Florist Home & Gifts. Momma who was known to overwater or underwater or otherwise destroy orchids, was determined to keep this one alive. It was from Nanny, after all.

Unfortunately, one week later it was dead. She had assumed its soil was properly moist upon delivery and she planned to wait seven days to water it. After only day five, though, Momma noticed that blossoms were drooping and the buds were falling off. Panicking, she gave it a good splash. The orchid, however, stayed dead.

The next day, Momma brought it back to the florist shop and they gave her another, almost exactly the same, except this one was purple and even prettier. Momma was relieved and excited — she would study the directions and do exactly as they said and give it tender loving care. Four days later, this orchid was also dead. (See photo left.)

Momma was crazed. The florist would never believe this story. Neither would Nanny, she feared. But she had to face the music, so later that day we made a stop at Marco Island Florist. She left me (briefly) in the car and ran in to explain her dilemma. After a couple of minutes she could tell that this “transaction” was not going well, and knew it was time to bring out her secret weapon — me. (“I need to run out to my car and get my dog; this is taking longer than I expected.”) Momma quickly deployed me into the shop and soon all was well. Here I am with the Marco Island Florist team ~

Nancy, the owner, told Momma to go home and get the orchid and they would replace it with a new one (Momma balked at this, fearing she was just not orchid owner material) or give her a credit. Even I was praying for a credit.

So off we went and Momma returned shortly with the wilted orchid and (almost needless to woof), copies of Lina Unleashed and Sit Stay Pray to give to Nancy “just in case you’d like to carry Lina’s books in your store!” By now, I think Nancy had had it with the orchid bit (really — who can kill an orchid a week?), yet graciously accepted the books and gave Momma a credit.

Frisbeegate

A few days later, Momma and I had another small crisis. This is what happened. After a little playtime outside, Momma was leading me back into the building and I was carrying a Frisbee in my mouth (upon advice of counsel, I will neither confirm nor deny if I had actually had been chasing it). The photo at right is a file copy for illustrative purposes only.

Passing through the garage, we walked into the lobby and waited for the elevator. Then the strangest thing happened. I entered the elevator with the Frisbee in my mouth and all of a sudden it disappeared. Momma couldn’t find it anywhere and quickly realized that I must have dropped it down the shaft between the elevator and the lobby floors. And, okay, for the first time ever, I might have been a tiny bit at fault.

Momma was horrified. Now what?, she thought. She feared she should immediately report it to the building manager in case the errant Frisbee caused a problem with the elevator. But how could she tell Kelly what had happened without him suspecting that I had been chasing the Frisbee off-leash outside — in violation of a new BOD rule? (A rule that Momma had fought against quite vocally.) And wasn’t this just the bite, thought Momma, that we would be the ones practically forced to turn ourselves in?

Nevertheless, once again, she knew she had to face the (elevator) music. So she dragged me to Kelly’s office and nervously explained that we might have a “little issue.” Trying to keep the facts to a minimum, Momma told him that she was bringing me up to our condo and I dropped my Frisbee down the elevator shaft. Really, Momma? Talk about throwing me under the bus. Do you see why I keep Uncle Chuck, Esq. on retainer?

Luckily, Kelly was busy running a high rise and didn’t ask for an explanation. Momma and I quickly turned tail and left the room.

A gift from Tierney

Now the good news! Last week I received a new toy (an aardvark!) from Nanny’s granddaughter, Tierney. Tierney, only nine years old, loves dogs and volunteers at Warrior Dog Rescue in Prior Lake, Minnesota, and she and I are special friends. Kudos and big time thanks, Tierney!