Yappy Holidays to my human and furry friends! Thank you for your faithful readership of my blog. Each of my posts are paw-crafted with you in mind and it means the world to me when you enjoy them.
This year, for the first time, I wrote a letter to Santa Paws, I mean Claus. As you will see, most of my requests are about Momma. As you can imagine – there is good reason. Read on . . .
Mr. Santa Claus The North Pole
Greetings from just south of you – Minnesota. I’m sure you’ve heard of our state – one of our towns, International Falls, is known as the “Ice Box of the Nation,” so I bet it’s just as cold here as it is at the North Pole! Lucky me, for part of the year I get to go potty in the ice and snow where I freeze my little paws – and tush – off. Okay, admittedly, Momma and I go back to my home state of Florida for part of the winter, but still – you get the (snow) drift.
I am writing to let you know I have been very good this year. I obey Momma – unless I know better. I alert her when some governmental official is at the front door so we can hide. I clean up the kitchen floor whenever a crumb drops. I share my toys with others. I rarely have a potty accident or throw up in the house – and when I do, it’s brought on by stress. I don’t bark much, and I don’t bite or bully. Like any good liberal, I treat all the dogs at Camp Bow Wow with respect and friendship, regardless of their breed or gender identification.
Santa, you will see that most of my list revolves around Momma and her issues. She tries hard to be a good doggie parent, but, to be honest, she doesn’t really know how. Plus, she seems a little unstable, and we are always on the brink of another embarrassing moment, if not all-out crisis. I am hoping you can help. Here are my wishes ~
- For Momma not to make me attend any more Holiday Boutiques. I know she likes to socialize, using me as a tool to make friends, and to try make some money on my products, but I’m not sure we come out ahead, and I hate these excursions.
- For Momma to give up on trying to make me swim. If God had wanted me to dog-paddle, he (or she) would have given me webbed paws.
- For Momma not to hold any more Republican funders. Unless Leader Kevin McCarthy brings his dog, Mac, next time – then it would be okay. By the way, Santa, I hope you leave a nice present for @Leaderofthepack_mac!
- For Momma not to help set off any fireworks at The Point next summer. This is a great danger to all lake residents, and hurts my ears.
- For Momma not to set off the house alarm on accident. (This also hurts my ears.)
- For Momma not to set the house on fire again – also apparently on accident.
- For Momma not to say embarrassing things to me in front of the staff at Bow Wow when dropping me off, like: “No flirting with the boy dogs today, Lina!” or when picking me up, like: “Is Lina still here?” Where, pray tell, does she think I would be?
So, as you can see, Santa, my requests are reasonable. They won’t even take up any room in your sleigh. Thank you for listening.
Hi to your reindeer! I’ll leave some treats out for you on Christmas Eve.
While I am busy writing my blog (I am all about the creativity and intellectual honesty of my craft), Momma is busy scheming to get more readers. For example this year, she went to a marketing class, and now she’s throwing around terms like “strategic brand message” and “networking currency.” She has no idea what they mean, but thinks they sound good. She also says we need to “find our tribe,” and told me we must augment our reach on social media.
Ever since then, Momma has been “hounding” me to ask a favor of you. So in the spirit of the Christmas and in an attempt to expand my pawprint – here goes. If you like a post, would you please share with your friends on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and whatever social media you use? Big time thanks!
Finally, I want to give a special woof out to the Animal Humane Society and thank them for all the work they do throughout the year. Once again this year, we will be making a donation to them for Lina Unleashed proceeds.
May you have a pawsitively wonderful 2019!
Lina, Thankful & Hopeful