Melancholy (Momma) and Merry (Me)

With the aftermath of the recent election in which the Human Orange went down in defeat and the new COVID restrictions from our very wise Governor Walz, Momma has been in a sad state. Almost comatose actually.

On the other paw, I am — do I dare woof it? — rather euphoric. Why? Well first, Joe “No More Malarkey” Biden won and second, Momma is pretty much stuck at home with me. She routinely throws my ChuckIt ball around for fetch and takes me for a walk almost every day! Plus, she feeds me on time and even had the foresight to stock up on my favorite topping — organic pumpkin — before the Thanksgiving rush. Maybe she is trainable after all?

And my other reason for joy? We are watching a lot of TV together, and guess what — we’ve dialed back (as Governor Walz likes to say) Fox News quite a bit. In fact, Momma was so wounded by recent events that about the only programs she can stand to watch are Bonanza, the Andy Griffith Show and Green Acres (which I was disappointed to see is not about saving our environment). Oh, and the other one — The Match Game. We only watched this one, however, until Momma found out it wasn’t a dating service after all. Just woofin’.

I have another little bit of good news! Our viewing is so limited that Momma has even looked into getting “FidoTV” and “DOGTV” for me. She was hoping that she could just click on “Guide” on her remote, and the show names would pop up, but of course that didn’t happen. After a little more research, Momma discovered that one must subscribe to a streaming service if one wants to watch more that Lassie and Fury. (Momma still pines for the days of the old Motorola with three channels and a knob to turn to find her favorite program: “Lina, the world has passed me by,” she laments.)

Still, she is bound and determined to find FidoTV and DOGTV! She’s pretty sure she needs Netflix or Amazon Prime TV (services most of the civilized world already has). The only problem — she doesn’t really know what they are or how to get them. Must one have some nerdy technician come out to hook up some new equipment? Can one just enroll directly on ones (hopefully smarter than Momma) TV? And most important, is there a free trial period?

As of this post, we have neither yet, but with our four weeks of forced isolation coming up, I think Momma will have time to figure it out. As you can see, I’m ready!